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I believe a hiding is necessary if the child continues to misbehave and talking with themn does not work. However, a light smack on the bum or hand is it! The day I see a parent hitting a child anywhere else as to actually HURT instead of surprise, I will personally take a stick and hit them back.
Jessica [Hazelwood, Pretoria GT ] 2 Mar 10
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Unfortunately kids don't come with manuals...trust them and love them...lead by example and explain to them what the consequences of their choices might be and ask them if they think they are grown up enough to handle that...I have two lovely kids, they where never banned to do anything they wanted to, but we talked about whatever, I am more than their mom, I am their friend and convidant, we trust each other...always be aware of what they do or plan, be involved...spend time with them and allow them to develop their own personalities...it is very rewarding to see the outcome...
Cindy [Tableview, Bloubergstrand WC ] 14 Oct 09
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I recently attended a fantastic course, one evening a week for 3 weeks, called "The Privilege of Parenting" in Glenwood. It was alarming how many parents were more interested in 'discipline' than in how to show more 'love' to their children. The golden rule, I think, is not to act in anger but in love and I agree with others, it must be age appropriate and not just 'empty' shouts. I work hard on "Leading by Example", our children COPY us, look out for tell tale signs :-). Yes, it is not an eay task but so rewarding!
[ KN ] 12 Oct 09
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Its not easy raising kids and I find that my toddler just loves attention so usually if I ignore him he stops his tantrums and misbehaviour.
lesley ann [cape town WC ] 18 Sep 09
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Quoting:: Melanie [Rondebosch WC ]
I was terrified of my father. I would lie to him and hide from him, even when I had done nothing wr
Hi Melanie
I now have grandchildren and can say that consequences worked the best with my 3 children. Explain the rationale and even discuss, when older, the action and consequence of any choice they make.
Important - stand by them when they make choices, even if not what you would choose. This way the learn to make decisions without judgement.
Pat
Patricia [Westville KN ] 6 Aug 09
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I was terrified of my father. I would lie to him and hide from him, even when I had done nothing wrong, because I was afraid of the hidings he gave. The pain was all I cared about. With my daughter we give her consequences for her actions and have decided that we wouldn't smack her unless it was to stop some greater harm, like death or maiming.
Please, before hitting your child ask if this is the worst thing they could do. Because hitting is the ultimate punishment and it needs to be equal to the crime. If they talk back is it equal to stealing? If not, don't use the same punishment for both.
Melanie [Rondebosch WC ] 6 Aug 09
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i think the punishement should be the childs age eg...if he or she is 5 years old there must be a time out of 5 mins.
heidi [ ] 20 Jul 09
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I think the punishement needs to fit the age of the child, I don't think little kids understand time out and asmall smack is more effective. Also if you teach your kids good manners and good behaviour, they may stray as teeenagers and rebel slightly, but the alues they learn early should be in them, and surface later.
Cathie (kzn)
Catherine [Glen Anil KN ] 19 Jul 09
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There's nothing better than hearing your children (mine are both in their 20's now!) saying "thank you Mom for disciplining us when we were little, the smacks HURT (if only they knew how much they hurt me having to do it!) your time-out SUCKED, but we learnt very quickly what we could and couldn't do! The WORST was consequences, because we reaped what we sowed! Proverbs 13:24 says "spare the rod and spoil the child" and there's a passage in the Bible that says we should train a child in the ways of the Lord and he will not wander from that path! Thank you Lord for your Parenting Guide!
Liz [George WC ] 12 Jul 09
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Quoting:: Anine [Honeydew GT ]
As a Christian I do believe in discipline by giving a child a hiding as the Bible tells us to do.
Yes, I do believe with a strong faith it does make it much easier to raise your kids.
Me being a single parent of two little girls, I have always refered to the Bible to illustrate what is the appropriate behavior.
I always sit my dauthers down and explain to them, and in the few instances when there was a repeat offence, I would then go the route of time out. The lengh of time out always depended on the age they were.
If a child is 3, then three min on a step were you can see them, they are not aload to move and has to think about what they have done, after the three minutes go to the child and by then you should receive an apology.
When the child is older, like 7, seven minutes in a room where their is no activities to keep them occupied. At this age after the seven minutes they will need to explain what have they leant in timeout and apologise.
This method has helped me, or may be I am just blessed with wonderful girls.
Always remember lead by example, set boanderies and never break them, and finally understand your child as each child is not the same.
Children are amazing and a breath of fresh air.
Neroshni [Weltervreden park GT ] 23 Jun 09
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As a Christian I do believe in discipline by giving a child a hiding as the Bible tells us to do.
You cannot give a child a hiding without reproof (communication). And a hiding should never be given in anger. It is a big responsibility and should only be given by the parent when a child is disobedient. For example, you cannot give a child a hiding when he was 'naughty' and was writing on the walls in your home. This is a good opportunity to teach your child that we don't do that. If he/she does it again then they are being disobedient.
Here is a good definition quoted from Tedd Tripp, in his book 'Shepherding a child's heart': "The rod of correction is a parent, in faith toward God and faithfulness to his child, undertaking a timely, careful, measured, controlled, use of physical punishment to underscore the importance of obeying God, thus rescuing the child from continuing in his foolishness".
I also want to share these wise words with you from Proverbs:
Proverbs 13:1 A wise son accepts his father's discipline, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
Proverbs 13:24 He who withholds his rod hates his son,But he who loves him disciplines him diligently
Proverbs 15:32: He who neglects discipline despises himself, But he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.
Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
Anine [Honeydew GT ] 22 Jun 09
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I was brought up with a swift clout and so was my son. We are not injured and have learnt
discipline. Todays kids are totally unruly and rude. Bring back the slipper!!!
maria [ ] 20 Jun 09
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My 5 year old gets time out and removal of priviledges...this works for us. I believe every child needs discipline...in fact children love discipline and routine.
Tracey [Meadowridge WC ] 5 Jun 09
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Quoting:: Monika [Westville KN ]
Yes I do agree with you, but I also believe that every child is different and I guess different thin
Here here.....or should that be hear hear!
Mary [Cape Town WC ] 4 Jun 09
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Quoting:: URSULA [EAST RAND GT ]
The scary thing about kids of today is that they have no respect for their own parents, teachers & e
Yes I do agree with you, but I also believe that every child is different and I guess different thinks work (or don't) for different kids. For my child, for example, the whole discipline routine does not really help. Consequences work wonders! I calmly explain the consequences of his actions to him and then follow through (VITALLY IMPORTANT)! It is only too tempting to let the child off the hook too soon and then they've got us right where they want us. Kids are more intelligent than we give them credit for and they can also be master manipulators. I also believe that parents should spend more quality time with kids and that they should really set a good example for their children and teach them high values and morals. If one is constantly under pressure and in a hurry and snapping at the children as a result, it should come as no big surprise that they will treat you in much the same way. Nowadays parents are too stressed and put too much emphasis on work.
Monika [Westville KN ] 2 Jun 09
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Quoting:: URSULA [EAST RAND GT ]
The scary thing about kids of today is that they have no respect for their own parents, teachers & e
Wow Ursula, couldn't agree with yo more! I'm horrified at the lact of respect kids (especially at high school level) who show no respect for teachers and other parents. I'm a little worried about what school to send my son to, as I can't afford private school, and apparently they're not a whole lot better anyway.
Belinda [Florida GT ] 2 Jun 09
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The scary thing about kids of today is that they have no respect for their own parents, teachers & elders. Since the old fashioned discipline has been taken away, it's caused a monstorous society of youth of today. I say kids should have far more discipline as they get away with murder.
URSULA [EAST RAND GT ] 2 Jun 09
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